Fullness

“O GOD,

Thou hast taught me

that Christ has all fullness and

so all plenitude of the Spirit,

that all fullness I lack in myself is in Him,

for His people, not for Himself alone,

He having perfect knowledge, grace,

righteousness,

to make me see,

to make me righteous,

to give me fullness;

that it is my duty, out of a sense of emptiness,

to go to Christ, possess, enjoy His fullness

as mine,

as if I had it in myself, because it is

for me in Him;

that when I do this I am full of the Spirit,

as a fish that has got from the shore to the sea

and has all fullness of waters to move in,

for when faith fills me, then I am full;

that this is the way to be filled with the Spirit,

like Stephen, first faith, then fullness,

for this way makes me most empty,

and so most fit for the Spirit to fill.

Thou hast taught me that the finding of

this treasure of all grace in the field of Christ

begets strength, joy, glory,

and renders all graces alive.

Help me to delight more in what I receive

from Christ,

more in that fullness which is in Him,

the fountain of all His glory.

Let me not think to receive the Spirit from Him

as a ‘thing’

apart from finding, drinking, being filled

with Him.

To this end, O God,

do thou establish me in Christ,

settle me, give me a being there,

assure me with certainty that all this is mine,

for this only will fill my heart with joy

and peace.”

(Valley of Vision // Fullness in Christ)

This summer has revealed multitudes. Unfruitful caverns of your soul are difficult to unveil and our feeble blindness hinders us from seeing them. But growth is beautiful, beauty emerging from ashes in the shadow of His name is unfathomable. Growth allows us to grow in reverence of our mighty Savior. But revealing and acknowledging leading to growth can hurt, it can be utterly painful. Breaking yourself, your heart and soul in humbleness is a glorious death to our flesh for the One who conquered death. When committed whole heartedly and prayerfully to the journey, the LORD provides eyes for us to see the dark facets of our hearts in desperate need for radical transformation.

Lately, especially the last few months, the layers of my heart are continually pulled back. Not always willingly, but going deeper and deeper to roots that I have never been aware of. I think it is an indescribably beautiful relationship with a Father who reveals our own darkness in His unconditional love. A Father who knows every detail of our souls, but shows this scandalous love to draw us closer to His heart.

The truth is that I am always fighting. Fighting for acceptance, approval and contentment. I am always fighting for my identity, fighting for fullness. I never realized the depths that I seek fullness apart from the bottomless fountain of all good, my Shepherd. Truly I shamefully seek fullness in every area and variant of my life. The question for me to conquer is why I strive to the degree that I do, instead of allowing it to all cease. And running and leaping into the arms of the gentlest peace. All I am, all I have is absolutely nothing, if He is not my one thing. Everything I lack is found in Him. But I still strive, strive unknowingly to fill my cup with things of this earth. Even when I strive myself down into the nothing and weakness I am, in my darkest moments, He fills my cup still. He fills it with His tender mercies, infinite grace and His love that will never relent.

“For in Him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in Him.” ~Colossians 2:9

The only place of establishment to fill my heart with joy, strength and peace is Christ. For in His perfect knowledge, grace and righteousness can I find fullness. But yet I run myself dry into a desert soul in fear of man. This root manifests into the anxieties that overjoy Satan as I allow them to entangle me.

May I lay my heart out, continually identifying my false idols. Oh how many we have and fail to recognize. Let all striving cease and allow the LORD in His ever-present love, to take hold of the unfruitful facets of our heart, infinite they are. I pray to remember that everything we own does not belong to us. I pray that as I take each step this truth weaves itself into my heart. That I may journey with my palms open, LORD empty these hands. Empty these dirty hands, I dare not lift them for they strive for fullness from man. Kill my flesh that I may die from who I am and fully grasp that not a second on this earth is mine. Fill me up God, for I am thirsty. I hunger and seek who You are, for You are my GOD.

You are the fullness that fills all in all. I bring my heart that it may be emptied. That it would not identify with every task, responsibility and standard I am held to. That my cup is empty and dry from everything but You, my Eternal Father. You have chosen me as an elect child and my feeble mind cannot form a thought of adequate thankfulness.

Fill me up GOD, that every heart I encounter is met with nothing but a glimpse that of who You are.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others…” ~ Matthew 5:14-15

Fill me up GOD, that everything I do, every word I speak and every breath I take is done in my weakness and by Your strength alone.

“They have only Him, and with Him they have nothing, literally nothing in the world, but everything with and through God.” ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Fill me up GOD, that my heart does not seek approval and fear man, but acknowledges You in every moment. Sensitive to Your purpose and with thanksgiving, no matter the cost.

“… Refusing to be in tune with the world or to accommodate oneself to its standards.” ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Fill me up GOD, that I  may not give way to my anxieties, but that Your word is so deeply woven in my heart that I dwell in Your rock-solid truth.

“Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” ~ Matthew 4:4

Fill me up GOD, until I experience, taste and see nothing but the joy and lavishing peace of You. Fill me up GOD, that in Your fullness I can see myself the way You see me.

“and the grace of our LORD overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of who I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display His perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in Him for eternal life. To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.” ~ 1 Timothy 1:14-17

 

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